4 Ways to Support Your Child at School: Bullying and Suicide Prevention
School and bullying seem to be an unavoidable combination. Almost 20 percent of students between the ages of 12 and 18 report at least one instance of bullying during the school year. Bullying is more than an annoyance that some children must endure during their school years. It has both short and long-term effects on their mental health.
Preteens and teenagers can be secretive by nature, so you'll need to read the signs that they might be the subject of bullying. They may seem more withdrawn than usual or express concerns with their appearance. If they seem more irritable and quick to get angry or cry, bullying can be the cause of these reactions.
Bullying in children can lead to mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and actions. The initial incidents can be painful, however, the longer the bullying behavior continues, the more emotional damage it does. Your child may benefit from working with a mental health professional to avoid the progression from depression to suicidal ideologies.
Talk With Your Child About Bullying and Suicide
Open and honest communication can help identify when and if your child is bullied. You should always try to keep the lines of communication open even if you don't suspect bullying.
Children are notorious for keeping things private, and they can be hesitant to tell their parents or any adult about bullying at school. Start by asking open-ended questions, such as:
How are you feeling today?
How was your bus ride today?
What did you do at school today?
Did you see anyone being mean to someone else at school today?
Is there anything you want to talk about but don't know how to do it?
What was the best part of your day? What was the worst part of your day?
If your child talks to you about an incident where they were bullied, don't dismiss their feelings. Your child has a right to their feelings, and you must acknowledge them. There may come a time when you fear your child is in crisis and considering suicide. It's okay to ask them directly and take the necessary steps if they are.
Partner With Schools for a Safer Environment
Most schools have strict policies about bullying in children, but they don't always know when it occurs. Your child's school can help you eliminate incidents of bullying once they have all the facts. After your child tells you about being bullied, you need to document that information.
Things you need to take note of when dealing with bullying in children include:
Date
Approximate time of the incident
Location, such as hallways, bathrooms, or specific classes
Names of the people involved
What was said or done
The school can help you with incidents of bullying and work towards keeping a safe environment for all of their students. If you talk to the teacher but the problem continues, you may need to escalate to the school administration. You can always go to the school board if the administration doesn't act in a timely manner. Continuous bullying in children may require a formal safety plan from the school, and you shouldn't be afraid to ask for one.
Help Your Child Develop Coping Skills
Resilience is important for helping children cope with bullying and can reduce their risk of suicidal thoughts. The feelings that come from bullying don't end after the incident. Your child may continue to feel fear and insecurity for weeks and months after a bullying situation. Some coping methods might include:
Meditation
Deep breathing
Mindfulness
Writing in a journal
Listening to music
Interacting with a family pet
You might notice that your child's self-esteem has taken a hit due to bullying. You can help your child rebuild it by reinforcing the areas where they excel. For example, you might remind them that they have a great singing voice or can paint beautiful pictures. During this time and beyond, you want to celebrate all the wins to help your child feel valued and appreciated.
In the end, you and your child's school can only do so much. If your child continues to experience bullying, you need to teach them to be assertive. Most bullies do what they do and say what they say because no one stands up to them. Teach your child to say, "Leave me alone" or "I don't care what you think" and walk away.
When to Get Professional Help About Bullying in Children?
There may come a time when you need to seek professional counseling for dealing with bullying in children or other mental health support. This isn't a parenting failure. If your child was running a fever, you'd take them to the doctor, and this is similar to that. Worsening moods can be a sign to find a therapist. Your child might begin to perform poorly in school as a sign they need more help than you can offer. You might notice signs that indicate that your child needs professional help, such as:
Changes in mood
No longer participating in activities they once enjoyed
Excessive crying
Sleeping too much
Saying goodbye to friends or family
If your child admits to suicidal thoughts or actions, you need to reach out for immediate help. This can include a crisis hotline or a visit to the emergency room. You're the parent, and you need to take the appropriate steps.
Supporting Your Child Through Challenges
You can support your child when they face bullies and bullying behavior at school. Keeping a constant dialogue open between you and your child can make it easier for them to discuss any incidents of bullying with you.
Your child's school can be an invaluable partner in stopping bullying in children and helping your child feel more safe and secure. You and your child can work on coping skills together, so the bullying behavior doesn't have as big an impact as it might otherwise have. If you believe your child can benefit from professional help, don't hesitate to find it.
When you practice these steps, your child will be able to see and feel the ways you support and love them. You might not be able to change what was said and done to your child, but you can help them see that it isn't true and surround them with love. Continued commitment to communicating with your child and their school is key to providing your child with the coping mechanisms to succeed despite being bullied.