It’s easy peasy for kids to identify when they are happy. What about when they are frustrated? Can they name this common feeling when homework is hard, or their little brother broke their latest Lego masterpiece? The definition of frustration - feeling or expressing distress and annoyance, especially because of inability to change or achieve something (dictionary.com) – is a perfect word for many of our children to use, but we rarely hear it.

The SpeakUp ReachOut 5th grade class encourages students to expand their vocabulary and be thoughtful about how they are feeling. Let’s face it, there are so many more emotions than happy or sad, but those are the two we tend to get stuck on. At any given time, your child could be feeling nervous, jealous, angry, excited, peaceful, glad or cozy. Our goal is to teach the kids to recognize how they are feeling and to name it. When we can name our feelings, it fosters self-control. And, when we have a semblance of control, we improve our situation, whatever that might be.

The best way for kids to learn this skill is to see their parents and/or care givers modeling an expressive style of language. Afterall, all of us at Eagle County BE! strongly believe language matters.

Shift your mindset and pay attention to the words you say out loud. Below are some examples to get you thinking about how you can improve modeling your feelings out loud.

Instead of “Ugh look at all those dishes.” Try - “I am frustrated there are so many dishes to wash right now, but I am confident I can get it done quickly.”
Instead of “What’s in our mailbox?” Try “I am hopeful there is a letter from Grandma at the post office – let’s go check!”

Instead of “You are so lucky to learn Spanish.” Try “I am jealous you are learning to speak Spanish, I wish I had learned a different language so young.”
Instead of “Be careful sledding.” Try “I will be less nervous if you are cautious when you go sledding.”
Instead of “I can’t wait for vacation.” Try “I’m excited about our upcoming vacation! How are YOU feeling about it?”

This last example encourages your child to play along; if they say happy or sad, ask them to try and use another word from the list in the image above.

Inside Out: Guessing the Feelings is a short video clip that we share with the 5th graders during this lesson to emphasize the importance of recognizing feelings – not only in ourselves, but also in others. Being able to identify how others feel is the start of building empathy. This can’t be taught. It is learned through reaching out, talking about and expressing out loud our feelings. It takes practice.

Another thing to try at home is if you are watching a movie together, and one of the characters is expressing a particular emotion, pause the movie and ask your child to name the emotion. For example, if you are watching Elf, pause it when Will Ferrell is jumping up and down about Santa coming. Ask your child what he is feeling; if they say happy, teach them what ecstatic means.

The wheel of emotions is another way of framing this discussion. The visual below demonstrated how when you practice labeling emotions in yourselves and in others helps us gain better insight into our own and other’s needs. By doing this, our emotional intelligence improves, as do all of our relationships.

How Are You Feeling? 3.22.2021